The gift of family includes the reflection of family memories of the all-important kid trips. You know the ones….standing in lines for theme park rides, panning for gold, ski school, waterparks, planetariums, kettle corn and more!

These milestone trips are critical to kids’ development but even more important, in my opinion, to the family’s development. What transpires during these often challenging but totally fun “kid trips” is that children watch how their parents handle details, logistics, possible stress and how they play with their kids. It’s the great equalizer. Instead of being your child’s authority figure, hero, mentor, etc….this is the time when you get on their level and join in on the fun….at their perspective.

You have the rest of your life to take the couples trips, girls trips, guys trips, tours, expeditions, service trips, mission trips, etc. You can even recreate a “study abroad” trip at any age. Yet, you have a finite period of time to do the kid trips. Cherish them. Sure, they are not about relaxation….that comes later when you’re reflecting on the trip memories WITH your adult children. You’ll discover all sorts of impressions you didn’t know that your kids had.

This article is meant for new parents since experienced parents obviously know the following info. If you are an experienced parent reading this, it might be nostalgic for you. To list a few of the kid trips we embarked on, they included: Six Flags, Great Wolf Lodge, Silver Dollar City, Big Cedar Lodge, Colorado ski trips, childrens museums, Science City in Kansas City, Schlitterbahn, Worlds of Fun, Sea World, swimming with dolphins, zip lining, whale watching, spinning in the fish pipe, so forth and so on. These trips became so meaningful to our sons that it resulted in repeat trips. Developmentally, the reason for the significance of the repetition is that children crave familiarity and rituals. While the school environment introduces new concepts weekly, vacation time allows the freedom from “reinventing the wheel” and coping mechanisms. Children often seek repetition of favorite books, video games, etc. so they feel certainty and security of what comes next. In the example of vacationing at a theme park, a child might look forward to overcoming previous fears of certain rides, roller coasters, etc. They are overcoming their own fears and experiencing their growth and progress when they tackle these challenges.

Younger children who witness their older siblings being old enough to swim with dolphins, tall enough to ride the roller coaster, zip lining untethered, skiing independently outside of ski school, etc. experience something important. They are learning that they have to wait their turn developmentally. They have to grow into the experiences; physically and figuratively. For the youngest children in the family, this experience often shapes ambitiousness in them. They strive to “outdo” their older siblings in various ways. For older siblings, they learn the feelings and experience of protecting their younger siblings or watching them grow into the ability to join them on certain adventures. It’s the birth order function at its best.

On kid trips, children might witness their parents take turns at relaxation. While Dad’s helping the kids learn how to jump into the pool over and over into his arms, Mom might steal away to read a magazine on a chaise lounge. While Mom is sitting with the napping infant, Dad might be playing a round of miniature golf. The unexpected surprise for parents who have endured and enjoyed the kid trips is that day that comes on the horizon for the utter relaxation of the eventual couples trip. The empty-nester years. While some relationships implode during the empty nester years, other relationships survive and actually thrive because of the latter. It’s getting the chance to cherish the freedom and privacy as a couple after decades of putting your all into the kid trips. It’s the ability of discovering your coupledom is dynamic and not dependent on co-parenting.

Take the kid trips. Take one at least once a year. Whether it’s a car trip a few hours away or an international flight, build the memories. Stand in the long lines, eat the theme park food, ride the roller coaster, pan for gold, watch the glass blower, etc. It’s also about quantity time; not just quality. My spouse and I were shocked to hear our kids make a particular epiphanic statement to us. After years of taking them on trips around the world, they told us their favorite family trips were to Silver Dollar City. (tied with Greece, of course.) We laughed until we almost cried. I understand why, though. While the major trips abroad provided awe, beauty, history, adventure, change…..Silver Dollar City provided proximity, innocence, joy, activity, comfort food, and familiarity….and the goal of overcoming that daunting roller coaster ride. Recently, I told our sons that we want to take them back to Great Wolf Lodge just for the nostalgia and fun of it. All three of them and my husband whole-heartedly agreed. For midlife, empty nesters, and adult sons navigating new chapters, careers and “adulting”, it’s still the familiarity and repetition that appealed to all of them. Case in point.

© Gina Michalopulos Kingsley